Patriarchal Systemic Trauma
Do you feel you have been controlled, oppressed, dominated, shut down, blamed at even you can’t clearly define and recall specific hurtful memory or incident? Or you have experienced systemic oppression because of abuse of power either by domineering parent, partner, boss, coworker, coach, doctor, pastor, spiritual leader or inside your workplace?
Power abuse, developed from Patriarchal Systemic Oppression, can show up at your work place, place of learning, your family, your relationship, doctor office, sports organizations. It can show up as verbal abuse, verbal harassment, bullying, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse and microagressison.
“What is wrong with me?” – is this question always simmering at the back of your mind?
Do you feel like you’re failing as a woman, man, as a human being? Do you think you are failing as a parent, professional, as a human who wants just to live and have integrity and dignity ?
Power abuse is often hidden from society and it is accepted in the place where it is happening. Silently accepted. Those places are usually Patriarchal structured. Having said that, power abuse can happen from domineering women as well.
Feeling less, feeling small, feeling guilty and blamed at, feeling oppressed, feeling unsafe, feeling humiliated and shamed. From the moment you enter in power abuse dynamic you learn you can’t express and live your truth without being conditioned by “someone above” and it feels unsafe to speak up.
Being in minority of any kind, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, skin color, immigration status, social status minority, work hierarchy, patriarchal structured homes can increase exposure to power abuse.
Patriarchal trauma can be more subtle. How often you listen and lived by this : “Don’t be so smart, people don’t like it”. “Don’t stick out”. “ Don’t speak up, just smile”. “ You should be seen, not heard”, “ Don’t wear this you look like a slut”. “That? You look like a nun.”, ” You look good. You lost a weight.” , “ You look to skinny, you don’t look like a women.”, “Don’t make more money, he won’t like it”, “ What will family say?”. “What will neighbours say”, “Boys don’t cry.”, “ Compose yourself, you are hysterical”, “ You are too happy, what is wrong with you?” , “Don’t dim his/her light, it is not fair.”, “ Don’t make him feel less, it will not be good for your career.”, ” Respect elders, be quite”, “Take his last name, it is a tradition”, “This is how we do in our family”, “ This is our tradition, and you need to respect it”, “ Why are you so sure of your self?”, ” What do you need now?”, “Can’t you settled down finally?”.
Not big T trauma right?, but this is what defines deep layers of oppressive conditioning and this subtle blaming and subtle covert threats is an environment where our nervous system goes into a flight, fight or freeze state and it is how we move to trauma and pain bodies. Done in our families, our society, religion, countries, workplace, neighbourhood, done collectively, in a form of man and woman as well for thousands of years . It is collective, ancestral inherited trauma transferred down to your DNA and it is your individual trauma.
Unresolved traumas, some going back up to seven generations, can entangle us in stress disorders and situations that don’t belong to us. This is why it’s called inherited, or intergenerational or collective trauma we are born into and we are born into rigid patriarchal system. Patriarchal Trauma can forge a blueprint for our life, and can be passed pass onto our children as it did past to you. It doesn’t have to continue. Power abuse is fertilized by patriarchal soil.
Steps we take.
We will identify your emotional trauma while using the somatic experience to understand better where the fear is happening in your body.
You will become a transitional character. Someone who stops a generational trauma changes the entire course of a lineage and refuses to pass it down on to their children. It ends with you, and this will be the most significant work you can do for your self, your children, and also you will be an essential part of stoping collective power abuse trauma.
Power Abuse, Systemic Trauma can show as constant states of flight, fight or freeze and anxious symptoms and signs are not limited to worry or nervousness, but can also appear in unexpected ways, including:
- restlessness, irritability or feeling on edge without knowing the reason why
- feeling less, feeling small, feeling inadequate, feeling like you need a permission or approval from “someone”
- waiting for a permission or approval
- having a need to hide, be small, and minimize your achievements
- feeling like you will be blamed again and again
- feeling shame for having money, having career, having choice, having freedom, having more
- feeling like you need to justify and explain every single action, expression and decision
- feeling like you need to self sabotage your self and not have a money, partner, business, lifestyle you want to have
- racing thoughts, ruminating or obsessing
- being easily fatigued
- muscle tension
- difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
- sleep disturbance, trouble falling asleep or restless, unsatisfying sleep
- physiological symptoms as in panic attacks (e.g., heart palpitations, chest pain)
- sweating or trembling
- having difficulty controlling worry
- feeling weak or tired
- trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present anxiety
- unexpected fear in certain places, buildings, homes
- sudden fear around people with particular looks, mimics or laughter