Mindfulness Based Trauma Recovery
Adults with Childhood Trauma
You, as an adult somehow, deep inside know that something was missing growing up. How?
Because in your family, you were taught not to have your voice, not to express your nature, not to show up because it was just something you had to do to adapt, adjust or survive. Not expressing your needs, you have developed a toxic inner critic, shame, or anger. Traumatic and early painful events in the family were just minimized, discarded, and never addressed. Or you were never seen and heard by your parents, and they might be very good people you cared about or still do. You might be under mothered, or under fathered.
Now, as an adult, you can develop skills to see, embrace, and heal your inner SELF. You can learn to give yourself a voice and the right to be heard, seen, and been valued witch wasn’t done by your parents. You will learn to be seen and nurtured by YOU — the most important person. The time of self-abandonment will slowly but surely end.
How does it work?
Mother wounds and father wounds can follow you all your adult life. The wound can be caused by:
- Neglect – I am unimportant
- Absence – Divorce, separation, death
- Abuse – Mental, physical, sexual, spiritual
- Control – Oppressive authoritarian domination
- Withholding – Love, blessings and affirmation, deficiencies that lead to a profound lack of self-acceptance
Very slowly and at your own pace, and only when you feel ready, you will learn to embrace and heal your hurt inner child with my guidance and discover your inner self.
Steps we take.
We will meet, embrace, accept, heal, and celebrate your inner self and many other parts in you and rolls you had in each development stage of your childhood. This is a long time coming but also the most profound and healing work you will do for yourself. Trauma was kept in your nervous system and your body and you will learn to build somatic resiliency and understand how your body was reacting to trauma symptoms.
Take a look at Trauma Symptoms witch are in old books called Depression Symptoms. Depression is an adaptation to your emotional trauma, and it is a normal response to abnormal situations you lived.
Most people think of depression as synonymous with sadness, but depression/trauma symptoms can manifest itself in many ways that may not be apparent to the untrained eye, such as:
- Lethargy, fatigue or loss of energy
- Loss of interest, lack of motivation, lack of pleasure
- Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness
- Hypersomnia or increased need for sleep
- Insomnia or difficulty sleeping
- Weight loss or weight gain not due to dieting or exercise
- Increased or decreased appetite
- Feeling worthless or guilty
- Anxiety, agitation, or restlessness
- Angry outbursts, irritability, or frustration over small matters
- Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
- Thoughts of hurting yourself or self-injurious behaviors (e.g., cutting)*
- Thoughts of death or suicide*
- difficult time with emotions — experiencing them, controlling them, and for many, just being able to comprehend or label them accurately
- you still feel as you are a child even you might be 40 or 50 years old. Still waiting for “older” people or “abuser” approval and permission to do things or start living life.
- lost sense of self because of interrupted identity development. It is hard for you to say what you like and dislike. It’s hard for you to identify your needs and your boundaries
- you feel uncomfortable when someone cries in your presence
- you are uncomfortable crying yourself
- self-judgment and judgment of others is common
- it is hard to open up even to your close friends, or therapist
- you tend to expect rejection around every corner
Symptoms, signs and effects you have Mother Wound:
- (For females) constantly comparing yourself with, and competing against, other females
- Sabotaging yourself when you experience happiness or success
- Possessing weak boundaries and an inability to say “no”
- Self-blaming and low self-esteem that manifests itself as the core belief: “There is something wrong with me”
- Co-dependency in relationships
- Minimizing yourself to be likable and accepted
- The inability to speak up authentically and express your emotions fully
- Sacrificing your dreams and desires for other people unnecessarily
- Waiting for your mother’s permission on an unconscious level to truly live life
Symptoms, signs, and effects you have Father Wound:
- you have feelings of agitation, anger, and frustration as predominant feelings
- addiction and numbing out with alcohol, sex, substance use, food or work
- prestige, object possession, money gives you a “proof” of worthiness
- road rage
- you find it impossible to trust anyone in authority
- poor self-esteem, immature rage, and aggression towards others
- hard to open up with your partner or make a connection with your kids
- hard to feel, or say out loud how vulnerable and in pain you feel
- you are ashamed to ask for help or get emotional in front of others
- you don’t like feeling needy
- people tell you that you come across as distant, arrogant or rigid
- you don’t like the feeling that someone really needs you
- you have a fear of rejection which leads to perfectionism or people pleasing and approval seeking or dismissiveness
- you hate, dislike or you can not trust the majority of the male population
**Please call 911 immediately if you are having thoughts of harming yourself in any way**